THUMBS_Meliodas

  • Sneering, sleep deprived eyes that hold despair in their depths.
  • Teeth clenched tight in a square jaw.
  • Pink, oversized nose that undoubtedly drips horrendous amounts of snot into a greasy, double pointed moustache.
  • Tall, spider like legs and arms that provides no strength or agility.
  • Probably sweating all the time.

Does this sound like the description of a character you want in anything? Let alone Mario, a gaming universe loved by generations of players (and many to come)? Of course not. But, it’s too late. This god forsaken character exists in the form of Waluigi.

Let’s dive in with Waluigi’s first appearance in Mario Tennis (2000) for N64. Waluigi was originally created in this game to be Luigi’s bitter rival and to give Wario a doubles partner. They could’ve picked from a plethora of original characters, but decided to make up this purple waste of space instead. Canonical Nintendo history tells us that Wario is Mario’s evil twin or alter ego. While it’s easy to assume that the writers and character creators would follow the alter ego archetype found in Mario and Wario, there is not one confirmation that he is, in fact, Luigi’s evil twin. I know right? Luckily, I have some theories:

The Sympathy Theory

Mario and Wario felt bad for Luigi, feeling that he was left out of the spotlight, without having an evil twin. So, Mario and Wario had a rare team up, made an internet ad and found some loser who was willing to show up as a random plumber’s bitter rival/alter ego. Waluigi is that loser.

The Stalker Theory

Waluigi is obsessed with Wario, idolizing him and fueling his own hate for the Mario brothers. Wario regarded him as an annoying fan until finding himself partnerless for doubles tennis. He knew Waluigi would jump at the opportunity, but never realized he would take his new role so seriously (and permanently).

The Creep Theory

Waluigi is just some creep who showed up to play tennis and everyone else in the Mario universe is too nice to tell him no.

Every single one of these possible theories points to Waluigi being some kind of pathetic worm.

Regardless of this terrible introduction into the franchise, Waluigi is still a villain, right? Wrong. Waluigi is, at best, a failed villain. He’s served as the main antagonist for only one Mario game: Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix. “What dance related evil plan could possibly exist in this character’s mind?”, you ask. Obviously, he wants to collect items that allow him to hypnotize the world with his dancing.

The sheer evil of it.

The pure genius.

The unmatched overall creepiness of this plan.

You have to wonder: “How can one idiot still be so insanely popular?”. It wouldn’t be the first case of undeserved fame. Yet, as much loathing I hold for this disgrace of a character, part of me almost respects him for just how terrible he is. Voice actor Charles Martinet describes Waluigi as:

…a character who came from nothing and thinks the entire world is against him.

Could this slight yet endearing trait be what saves him from total deletion? Or maybe it’s the pure satisfaction you get beating someone as Waluigi. Because no one, absolutely no one, wants to lose to Waluigi. 

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